I usually accept a car name as soon as I first hear of it, but occasionally I’m left wondering just what was a car company thinking? I’m sure most of the vehicles I’m going to mention are fine automobiles, but the names assigned to them give me second thoughts.
Let’s start with the AMC Brat. I understand the company was trying to draw a correlation between the rebellious nature of a brat and the unusual half-car and half truck-design of this vehicle. However, do I want a vehicle with a name that reminds me of a misbehaving child? When I hear the name Brat, I have a nightmare of a vehicle experiencing a loud mechanical malfunction in front of a crowd; an embarrassing situation no one desires.
Then we have the Chevy Citation. Maybe it’s just me, but why name a car after a ticket I would receive from a police officer for speeding? I want my vehicle to convey the impression of being legit yet enjoyable. For me, the name Citation simply isn’t suitable as a car name.
Next is the compact Ford Fiesta. Have you seen the size of this vehicle? If Ford wanted to create a vehicle to represent a real party, the Fiesta would seat a minimum of ten people and have a dinner table extending throughout the length of the car. Now, that’s a party!
How about the Pontiac Phoenix; It sounds like a sporty name for a vehicle, doesn’t it? But wait, doesn’t the mythical bird, the Phoenix, explode into flames and burn to ashes? Yes, I believe it does, and I’d rather not have my car named after something more likely to happen to a lithium-ion battery.
If the Phoenix’s name makes me uncomfortable, how can the AMC Gremlin be any better? A car named after a mythical creature that mischievously dismantles mechanical equipment makes me wonder what AMC’s marketing team was thinking. Without a doubt, this vehicle’s name instills no sense of reliability in me.
Then there is the Toyota Tundra. The definition of tundra is: semi-permanently frozen topsoil or mud. Surely, someone should have thought twice before giving a truck this name. When I think about the obstacles I may face driving a truck, frozen dirt or mud does not inspire much confidence.
I could continue with names like Charade, Diablo, Echo, Mirage, Prowler, Silhouette, and so on, but I’m sure you see my point. So tonight, as I get in my car and turn it southward heading out of Mocksville, I’ll roll my window down and enjoy the cool night air blowing across me as I drive my Plymouth Breeze home.
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